Having a rangry night
Had a Biology exam yesterday which I was super ready to do amazingly in and I think I only did okay. Had a Chemistry exam today which I know I did absolutely shite in (considering I didn’t answer like half the extended-response questions) and I have a Physics exam tomorrow morning which I just know I’m going to fail dismally (WHY is Physics on the GAMSAT??? It has no relevance to Medicine and its fucking boring and I just really don’t give a shit about how a mass oscillates at the end of a spring as I’m pondering kinetic friction of like, a rollercoaster…is that even a thing? I don’t even know) and I’m getting credited for Advanced French Language and Culture which I did last year when I was still studying law, a subject I really should have done amazingly in (since French is the only thing I’m actually good at) but I fucked around all last year and never went to class. I only got 80% and whilst it’s still a H1 (which I would kill for in this years subjects) I really needed it to be higher so I have an amazing average when I apply for med). AND the UMAT is in like a month, which was the thing that stopped me getting into undergrad med at the end of high school and I’m really not looking forward to doing it again.
To top it off for the first time since I was like, in primary school, I’m having trouble sleeping (I haven’t been asleep before 6am all week) and I’ve had to be up at 6:30am to get to my exams. I’ve had very limited human interaction for over the past two weeks since I don’t have any friends in my course I don’t really have anyone to study with and attempting to study with close friends would be futile.
AND for some reason I’ve picked now to have a bit of a breakdown about how incredibly unattractive I feel. Long story but lately I’ve been feeling more horrible than normal but I’ve been trying to just ignore it and focus on study/exams but I’ve finally cracked and maaaaan do I feel shit.
So yep, now I’m Tumblring about how I feel ugly and stupid and will never get into Medicine instead of actually doing something productive. Ugh.
